The Father, the Son, and Nicole Richie?

Nicole Richie has checked herself into a private residential facility to figure out why can't gain weight and not, I repeat, not for an eating disorder. Obesity is an epidemic here in the United States and a growing problem in Europe but for some reason, Nicole is the only person that cannot gain weight. Right now all of you are saying its because she uses drugs or it's because she's bulimic or anorexic or the pills and nutrient rich low-calorie astronaut food that allow her to keep that thinspiration figure for all those Ana's Angels out there. You're wrong; it's because she's the Messiah. The doctors have no idea who they have in their custody. They should be taking samples (another good reason for stem cell research) and creating a new diet drug or miracle vaccine so all us can spend our days eating McGriddles, Jimmy Dean Chocolate Chip Pancakes and Sausage on a Stick, and deep fried Coca-Cola's. We could line up like old people do for flu shots and never have to worry about the gym or what we ate, or not fitting into our jeans 15 minutes before our date with the hot guy from marketing.