Rachel Ray talks out of the side of her crooked mouth

Has Rachel Ray bitten the hand that created her? TMZ is reporting that disgustingly perky celebrity chef Rachel Ray got a little racial after having a few glasses of wine after a book signing in Los Angeles:

At around 7:00 PM, Ray, along with seven others, went to Houston's Restaurant in the mall. They sat in a booth in the far right rear of the restaurant. Ray ordered fish and complained to the table it was dry. She was also drinking red wine and lots of it -- one source says a minimum of four big glasses.
'Back at the table, sources say Ray launched into attack mode: "Why is she wearing slave drag? She obviously has problems being black."

But Oprah wasn't Ray's only target. Sources say she told the group how much she liked Jennifer Aniston and then called Brad Pitt a "pussy boy." But her harshest comments were reserved for Angelina Jolie, calling her "a skanky, backdoor c**t."

Kids, here are some rules to follow if you ever plan on being famous:

1. Make sure the people that you are 'friends with' (i.e. gravy trainers) have zero credibility and have more skeletons in their closet than you. This way if they try and leak anything, they look like the fame seeking snitch that they are. It works for me.

2. If you are going to drink, don't drink a 'few glasses of wine,' get absolutely trashed so when you do say something, which you will, you can use the "I was trashed and don't remember a thing" defense. This also has worked brilliantly for me. Another benefit of this is, if you end up going to rehab, people will automatically forgive all your past transgressions. It's hard to be angry at a drunk.